Layer of self

I don't much time to contemplate, not that I don't have it really.

I let myself to be occupied by many other things in my head.

I really want to know who I am, what do I need, what do I feel. 

I am here trying to escape my from my headache and routines and roles that provide me the shelter, the roof, the food, the luxuries of my life. It does not compensate.

What is this emotion?